I've been accepted.

3 years ago I dropped out of college.

Now I am a student again!

Salt Lake Community College. I'm a Bruin. (ucla!)

I'll be living with an Aunt in West Jordan, UT. My mom's family is the greatest for so many reasons.

I'll start in January.

I'm actually really excited for all the classes I'm going to take.

I'm going to be working towards a degree in Social Work. It's perfect for all the things I like to do.

It's going to take me a while to complete the degree while working, on top of school.

I can't believe I'm doing this.....

It's totally possible that I might drop out again, and that's ok.

One day at a time.

How am I paying for it? One day at a time.



See you in October Utah!

Vacation turned Stay-cation

We decided to run away to the Sequoia National Park for some down and dirty camping. I was determined to:
-roast a hot dog over an open flame
-sleep under the stars, on the ground
-one perfect s'more every night
-get lost in the woods
-pray in a completely secluded part of the forest
-pee in the wild

The drive up was so fun. Big curvy roads that really reminded me of West Virginia, only everything was dead and brown.We were only at the campsite for 24 hours. But I did everything except for pee in the wild. When we first got to the park there was a cloud of smoke far on the horizon, but we didn't worry too much.

But within 2 hours the smoke was all around us. But we're tough and weren't going to back down til they kicked us out of the park. We set up camp, roasted hot dogs, made s'mores, explored the woods, and got dirty. Adam and I slept under the stars, but sadly woke up to being covered by thin layer of ash. 

We tried to go down to the lake for kayaking and the lake was depleted. They've been picking up the water in helicopters to put out the fire. That wasn't an option anymore. The air was full of smoke and it was really hard to breathe. And the fire was just getting worse. We tried to go horse back riding and that wasn't possible either.....womp womp womp!!!!!! We toured as much as the Forest as possible while making our way out and enjoyed the trees.

So we decided to head for the coast and camp by Monterey Bay. That didn't happen either. We were at a McDonald's for about an hour trying to figure out what the next plan was. We decided on a stay-cation. So we wanted to be tourists in San Diego. We had to hit up the Padres game.

We ate at Chin's (family staple), made s'mores in the back yard, and watched the first Lord of The Rings movies. Today we stayed in pajamas all morning and kinda gave up already. But we saw, we conquered, and had fun. Sometimes plans don't go as planned. That is so ok! 

And he puzzled and puzzled til his puzzler was sore.

I see life as one great big puzzle. Heavenly Father gives us one or two pieces of the puzzle at a time as we're ready. My problem is that every time I get a piece I think I know what the whole puzzle looks like and become desperate to complete it as fast as possible.

Then Heavenly Father gives me a new piece, It doesn't fit in "my" puzzle. I get confused, I panic, then I try to re-create the puzzle to include the new piece but still be my image.......He's very patient with me.

I've found a lot of peace in taking each piece and seeing how it fits, and then waiting for the next one. Instead of trying to see the whole puzzle I'm trying to focus more on each individual piece and imagine the possibilities. Instead of trying to make each piece conform to MY vision, I try to see how each piece adds to the beauty of the picture that is HIS vision (and let's be honest, his picture is WAY better than mine).

Am I sexy yet????

I find it so interesting how everyone seems to be obsessed with the word sexy. If it's not labeled as sexy will someone buy it? For example I've seen: sexy banking, sexy fries, sexy clothes, sexy shoes, sexy weightloss, sexy phone plans, sexy car, etc. Do you get the picture?

Why must everything be sexy? At least in my mind, sexy is the equivalent of lust. And lust is the most selfish thing in the world. While it's nice to be thought of as attractive, who wants to be lusted after? Well, I guess girls with low self-esteem and daddy issues. So when did banking fall in that category. And who lusts after banking anyways? Can you understand why I'm confused? When did sexy become the best thing? What happened to kindness, love, and understanding? Why don't banks want to be labeled as that? I think it sounds much better.

So I think I decided to start a journey to be as un-sexy as possible. Not un-attractive. We don't want that (I have hopes of being married some day). But definitely not sexy. Modesty truly is the most attractive. I dream of being wanted for my eyes not my thighs (see how I rhymed there?). Life is good being the quiet girl in the corner instead of the one in the flashing lights. Life is good covered up instead of naked. Life is good being a solid 6 on the scale instead of a sexy 9 or 10. Life is good being healthy and in shape but not obsessed with having the best body. Life is good in sweatpants on the couch, watching a sappy movie with ice-cream AND caramel popcorn instead of being at a party.

To being un-sexy! May it be a lifelong ambition. I hope you all find your un-sexy side and embrace it, and make it your only side. Fill the world with true beauty and not flashy trash. Take pictures with silly faces that you might not look "your best" in. And love every moment of it.

And the answer is!

Common questions I'm asked:

1. Are you adjusting well? 

I don't feel like I'm the weird person who can't be normal because I'm still in missionary mode. But you should probably ask my mom more than anyone. It's also weird because I'm not the same person. I've changed so much that it's hard to judge where I'm really at because I don't know what's "normal" for me anymore.

2. Are you dating anyone yet?

It's been 2 weeks. Really? And I came home early for a very specific reason. Forget my state of mind. I would seriously question the state of mind of anyone who wanted to date me! Either way, I promised my last companion I wouldn't get married til January. But I have been on a date. My brother-in-law took me for ice-cream, and we went to the beach, and then watched a movie!

3. What's your plan?

I'll probably be here til January to work and save money before moving back to Provo to work, and have fun, and date! That's the extent of my plans. I don't have a job yet. But I got my own phone plan! I'm an adult!!!!! 

4. Can you still send me a "best and worst" email?

Well, I never had many person's emails to begin with. But I promised a few people already to put it on the blog when I post. The demands of some people!!

5. Did you enjoy your mission?

Absolutely and positively yes! I loved my mission experience! It was difficult and I might not have loved every second, but it was beautiful. 

6. What was your favorite part?

This is my least favorite question. How do I answer this? The people. Seeing people's lives change. Seeing my life change. Learning things that really will impact my life forever. The best friends I made. Becoming a "softer" person. My mission President. Being able to recognize the Spirit better. It was just wonderful.

7. Did you miss me?

The answer is yes! To everyone!

Best:

1. Watching basketball.

2. Easy money.

3. Getting my own phone plan. I'm so grown up!

4. Holding my babies again. And just babies in general. I love kids.

5. Disney movies.........they're the best.

6. Listening to good music. 

7. Swimming!!!!! 

8. Most of my clothes actually still fit!

9. I have all my nail polish back :)

Worst:

1. Shaving more often.......

2. The dang stomach virus still hates me.

3. Panic attacks. 

4. My medication gives me heart burn!!!!

5. Having my self-esteem so stinking low. It's not good.