Diggin My Way Up

Never was I a beautiful angel who floated down to the earth. I must have started much lower and dug my way up through the ground. The dirt weighed so heavily and I felt I couldn't breathe and I knew the higher I went the more I was free to move. As I push myself up the dirt and darkness become lighter and slowly I begin to realize how much restriction I really had. Movements become easier and I can see more than black. I break through the earth and the air hits me in the face for the first time. Freedom is mine. No, I am not an angel who started high in the clouds. I dug my way up from hell.

Sometimes I can't help but think that I have no more chances. Have I messed up my last chance? I don't know. But I do know that I have to hope that there is more. These songs just kinda resonate right now.

Scared

I get to see my Grandpa this weekend and I am scared. I know how bad he's doing and that he doesn't have much longer left on this Earth. Everyone loves Grandpa, he's just amazing and it's impossible not to. But I absolutely adore my Grandpa. He is kind, thoughtful, full of the Spirit, inspirational, and always has been my example for what I wanted a husband to be like. He was always my example of what it means to be a great husband, grandfather, servant of God, you name it. So it's scary to think I'm going to see him as not that man. He slowly has been leaving us and it's been really hard for me. But it's better for him to not suffer. He is the same man. His body just can't keep up with him anymore. And I am glad that soon he will be home and comfortable. But I am going to miss him.